Guest Post: 365 Days (and counting) of Booze-free Awesomeness

Unpacking the joys of sobriety with Dani Rombough

On May 2nd, 2025, my sister Danielle surpassed 1 year of sobriety, cruising through 365 days without consuming alcohol. It was so fun to stand on the sidelines from afar and watch her tackle any hurdles that popped up along the way, but more importantly learn, grow, and thrive throughout the journey. I was cheering her on with pride, jealousy, and wonder; just another time in my life where I’ve really looked up to her (metaphorically, only).

Dan and I have discussed personal development at length for more than a decade - sharing articles and books and podcasts on nutrition, sleep, exercise, mental health, work, productivity, management styles, the negatives of social media, and yes, alcohol.

Despite going dry for short periods of time (e.g., Dry January), and despite knowing that alcohol isn’t really serving any purpose, I’ve never committed more fully to exploring all of life through a clear mind. But it’s been so cool and inspiring to see Dan just crushing it over the last year, that I wanted to ask her about it.

I hope this interview-style blog is interesting, entertaining, educating, and resourceful for anyone thinking about their relationship with alcohol, or generally curious about challenging their misconceptions around sobriety. Thanks so much to Dan for the incredibly thoughtful answers - I loved your insights!

The Interview

Mike: If someone’s only reading the first paragraph of this blog - what’s your pitch for sobriety or taking a break?

• Dan: Sobriety is a superpower. This is our one wild and precious life, why go through our days feeling fuzzy, missing memories and feeling ill?

• It is always worth doing for even a short time. You’ll feel brighter, show up more consistently, and likely see some physical improvements like weight loss, clearer skin or brighter eyes.

• I asked Finn this question and I think he summarized it so well:

  • Because it makes you feel great, it makes other people feel great, and it makes your whole life next-level better. - Finn, Age 8

Mike: How would you describe your relationship with alcohol? How (if at all) did it change from your 20s to 30s to 40s?

• Dan: Like most people, drinking became a huge focus of my twenties. I wasn’t a typical problem drinker, but I think like many people, I had dark nights and knew that drinking was affecting my health, happiness and my relationships. As I got older I realized that drinking was on my mind a lot. Preparing for a night out, attending a wedding, or making plans to host in the afternoon, I knew there would always be drinks. I think as a society we imagine problem drinkers as a woman drinking alone in the morning just to get out of bed or a grizzled old man in AA struggling to get through that day without a drink, but alcohol is an addictive substance and many, many people have addiction issues that present in different ways.

• In the last few years, I cut back on the volume I was drinking. Although I still drank at every social event, I would have one or two glasses of wine whereas I’d drink 3+ before. I cut back because I was feeling physically bad after even one drink - fogginess, headaches, short-tempered. I think it’s also important to note that in the years post-COVID our social life has become smaller, with more dinners with friends or tickets to the ballet rather than post-work drinks and baseball games. This naturally led to a decrease in the amount I was drinking, and ultimately made it easier to quit without facing as many “tempting” events.

Mike: Did you ever try or consider a “limit”? Whether that be max 1 drink per night or max 2 nights per week, only on weekends, etc.?

• Dan: I tried limits and “rules” for years, and found it very difficult. When I was younger and very busy socially, there was always a reason to have a drink or a special event where I felt it would be too difficult to go drink-free. For about 6 months before I got sober, I committed to cutting back and aimed to limit myself to one drink when I went out, but found that a glass of wine at dinner inevitably turned into two or three. It wasn’t that one drink turned into a three-day bender, but it was difficult to limit and it was taking up a lot of brain power. I would spend hours thinking about whether this outing would be one where I would drink or if I’d want to have a few drinks, and even at the dinner I’d be thinking about getting a second glass, and weighing whether it was worth it. It sounds kind of crazy but I think a lot of people hold a lot of space in their heads for thoughts like these.

Mike: I know you have read and listened to a lot on the subject of sobriety / sober-curious. What are some of the best pieces of advice you received and leaned on?

• Dan: “Quit Lit” has really made a huge impact on me throughout this journey. I’m a big reader, so turning to books, mainly in memoir style, was a natural step for support. I read my first Quit Lit book years ago, Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker where I first learned about the freedom of quitting outright vs allowing drinking in moderation to take up more brain space (as per my notes above).

• Some key learnings that I will always carry with me from books:

  • You’ll probably want to leave early, and that’s OK. Parties aren’t that fun after midnight when you’re not drunk and full of excess sugar. You’ll get tired, and it’s important to have an exit plan. Luckily when you don’t drink you’re fine to drive home or make a clear-headed journey back on transit.

  • Bring your own drinks. I often show up with some NA Beer (Athletic Brewing and Guinness 0 for the win) or a cold Diet Coke so I can have a “fun” drink when everyone else is drinking. If you’re early in the journey and don’t feel like speaking about it, this helps to have a “drink” in your hand so you don’t get awkward questions.

  • You’ll notice some great improvements, but also some plateaus. The last book I read (The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley) referenced this, and it was so helpful because a lot of what you see and read is women losing 50 pounds and running marathons (seemingly) immediately after quitting. While there are some great immediate benefits, there are also some down times, some boring times, but then some longer-term gains that have been terrific.

  • Drinking does not help parenting. This may seem obvious but the alcohol industry is targeting women with the suburban mom vibes “Mommy Juice” or “There’s Wine in this Mug”. Drinking has been normalized for parents to “get through the days”.** While I never ascribed to that specific aesthetic, I did pride myself on continuing to throw parties, go out and be social (aka drink) while Finn was little. No one talks about how much more difficult bedtime is after a couple glasses of wine, those early weekend mornings with a hangover and 6:00 am loud wake-up, or that anxiety of rushing home from the park so you can start on dinner and that first glass of wine. A few of the authors I’ve read were very open and honest about this, and it eloquently described what I’d been struggling with for years.

  • You’ll want sugar. A lot of sugar. I had never considered this, but when you cut-out booze you’re also cutting back on so much sugar. I have never been a candy person, but in the first weeks after quitting I was craving candy at night (when I would normally have a glass of wine).

  • **I could talk about this for hours…

  • I’ve included some of my favourite books below!

Mike: How amazing has it been to wake up clear headed for an entire year?

• Dan: It IS amazing, probably one of the best parts of this experience. I’ve always been a morning person and now 8:00 am - 10:00 am on a weekend is my favourite time. It’s a relief to know I’ll be ready for action early in the morning, no matter what I have planned for a Saturday night. I regularly go to a 8:00 am yoga class, head out on errands or just enjoy a quiet coffee and book with the feeling of a whole bright day ahead of me.

Mike: I’ve noticed you have such honest and open discussions with Finn about alcohol. Talk about that a bit.

• Dan: I actually didn’t tell Finn about my sobriety for about three months after I quit drinking, as I wasn’t sure where I was going with it. But around 90 days I joined an app to track my progress (I love math but it was a lot to track the days and milestones), which was when I showed him and we started tracking together.

• Finn has been a huge support, and to be honest, his excitement and involvement has helped me stick to my sobriety. When my motivation dipped around seven or eight months, I would think about having to restart the tracker and tell him why, to remind myself a drink wasn’t worth it. I would never put that pressure on him, but it helps to keep me on track, and to hear his encouragement along the way.

• The best part of having Finn involved in my journey is the open and honest conversations we’ve had about alcohol. He knows that many other people still drink (including his dad) but we also talk about the negatives of alcohol, and why some people might choose not to drink. I think being able to speak about it openly will give him the tools to decide for himself whether he wants to drink when he’s older, and to navigate the social situations appropriately. He has also seen first-hand the positive impact it’s had on me, and I hope that will encourage him to make whatever decisions are best for him when he’s older.

Mike: What do you think people are really underestimating or are blind-sided by when they’re considering (but avoiding) taking a break from booze?

• Dan: I think people underestimate how much time they’re wasting with drinking and recovering from drinking. Without drinking, the days start earlier and you feel better, no recovery or buffer hours built in. The useful hours of the day can be so much more as well. There’s more time to catch up on things, spend quality time with your family, or even exercise at night because even after a dinner out you can jump into something when you get home. As you (Mike) have said yourself, you’re unlikely to come home from drinks out with friends and go to a yoga class!

Mike: We know “coping” with booze is not an effective way to deal with problems or struggles… but it’s often accepted by society as a valid solution. Of course acknowledging everyone is different, what suggestions might you coach someone with to use as healthier/alternative methods?

• Dan: This is a great question. I’m still working on this for sure - it’s such a normalized thing to grab a drink after a hard day or when you’re feeling anxious. I think we all know by now that alcohol increases anxiety, but it’s a hard habit to break!

• For me, these are some of my best replacement activities:

  • I’ve found exercising - yoga classes or popping out for a short walk - to be most helpful. It burns off some anxious energy, and I blast a 2000’s era angsty song to release some tension.

  • I really live for a short nap or if it’s the evening I’ll head to bed early - everything looks better when you’re well-rested.

  • I often make herbal tea as a bit of a comfort blanket. The process of brewing tea is relaxing and helps to focus on something else, and mint tea is truly delicious.

  • I’ve spoken before about my love of NA Beers, and luckily there are a few good NA wines and mocktails out there, so if you still want that feeling of a good drink, you can have it.

Mike: You’ve thrived alcohol-free through nearly every classic booze-fueled event (concert, vacation, family events lol, dinner parties, weddings, barbecues, birthdays, etc. ) Are there any that were particularly difficult? Are there any that stand out as “woah, I need to tell someone about this” or “this was so much better!”

• Dan: I stopped drinking shortly after starting a new job, and on my first work trip I worried that I would need to prove myself as “fun and cool”, especially without drinking at dinner. But of course, no one cares what I’m doing, as long as they have what they want in their own glass, and of course I know how to communicate without booze! :)

• The times I still find challenging are the casual get-togethers at someone’s house, or pre-drinks before a dinner, where I still miss that first glass of wine. In one of the books I read the author describes that hit of serotonin and dopamine that alcohol provides, and how much of the “fun” of drinking is in that anticipatory feeling, how peoples’ moods boost just by ordering a drink. I still want that happy feeling, but I know what comes after it (feeling bad, headaches, worrying about saying the wrong thing, being on edge, losing my temper) isn’t worth the 15 minutes of a boost.

• A truly “AHA Moment” was being on vacation, or at cottage weekends. It feels that I have endless possibilities without thinking about where to get drinks or what time we’ll start drinking or worrying about how I’ll feel the next day.

Dan’s Quit Lit Recommendations

These are very female-focused but would be great for anyone!

• The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley

• Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker

• We Are The Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life by Laura McKowen

• This Naked Mind by Annie Grace

Quit Lit Adjacent:

• Good Morning, Destroyer of Men’s Souls by Nina Renata Aron

• Nothing Good Can Come from This by Kristi Coulter

• Podcasts & Speakers on sobriety: Brene Brown, Dax Shepard

Thanks for reading,

Mike